On March 10, we used a PowerPoint presentation to ponder troublesome text and discuss potential solutions. It was interesting to hear people’s different takes on what the problems were and the best ways to correct them. Here are a few of the headaches and their remedies; that there may be others. To receive the full presentation (24 slides) – in PPTX, PDF, or RTF format – contact Stephanie at sstone4@cogeco.ca.
Problem: redundancy
Faced with a major fiscal slippage, in mid-April the government presented a new tax bill in Parliament, introducing new taxes on the wealthy. It also openly declared war against a powerful group of tax evaders in its new tax reform bill.
Solution
In mid-April 1994, faced with a major fiscal slippage, the federal government tabled a tax reform bill that levied new taxes on the wealthy and openly declared war on a powerful group of tax evaders.
Problem: incorrect parallelism
Thus, federalism not only places limits on a central government for the protection of liberty, a long and commonly held theoretical premise. Rather, it creates institutional arenas for expressing the distinct claims for rights and resources, and establishes procedures for finding a balance between them.
Solution
Thus, federalism does not place limits on a central government for the protection of liberty, a long and commonly held theoretical premise. Rather, it creates institutional arenas in which people can express their distinct claims for rights and resources, and it establishes procedures for finding a balance among them.
Problem: comma placement
Amended in 1967, the limited terms of the original Act were transformed to include not only highly flammable apparel, but also carpets, mattresses, and children’s sleepwear.
Solution
In 1967, the limited terms of the original Act were expanded to include not only highly flammable apparel but also carpets, mattresses, and children’s sleepwear.
Problem: incorrect parallelism
The relationship between federalism and democracy amounts neither to one of inherent compatibility, nor necessarily contradiction.
Solution
Federalism and democracy are neither inherently compatible nor necessarily contradictory.
Problem: too many nouns
There has been a recent shift towards the biopsychosocial model of management, which stresses the importance of psychosocial factors in the development and maintenance of physical pathologies.
Solution: change nouns to verb forms
There has been a recent shift in approach to one that applies the biopsychosocial model of management. This stresses the importance of psychosocial factors in developing and maintaining physical pathologies.
Problems: comma placement
Translating that to the workplace, if there are fewer women, “there aren’t counterbalances to neutralize aggression.”
Zenocrate embodies Tamburlaine’s quest for absolute freedom from servitude and, as such, she appeals to his elegiac iconoclasm more than his martial drive.
Solutions
Applying that to the workplace: if there are fewer women, then “there aren’t counterbalances to neutralize aggression.”
Zenocrate embodies Tamburlaine’s quest for absolute freedom from servitude. In this way, she appeals to his elegiac iconoclasm more than to his martial drive.
Problem: that vs. which
Norm-breaking is simply the practice of departing from conventional standards of behaviour that are usually part of the common values and social conventions observed by a particular social group but are not necessarily inscribed as formally written rules or laws.
Solution
Norm-breaking is the practice of departing from conventional standards of behaviour, which are usually part of the common values and social conventions observed by a particular social group but are not necessarily inscribed as formally written rules or laws.
Problem: text doesn’t focus on the person
The test consists of stepping in place at a comfortable cadence while blindfolded, with the instruction to stay in the same spot and not turn.
Over the last decade there has been a dramatic increase in the attention paid to concussions.
Solution
The test has a patient step in place at a comfortable cadence while blindfolded, with the instruction to stay in the same spot and not turn.
Over the last decade, there has been a dramatic increase in the attention paid to the effects of concussions.
Problem: incorrect usage
[Table footnote] Significant differences between physiotherapists and students (p < 0.05) are bolded and marked with an Asterix. [Saw a second instance of this recently!]
Solution
[Table footnote] Significant differences between physiotherapists and students (p < 0.05) are set in bold and marked with an asterisk.
Problem: awkward text written by non-native speaker
While establishing federalism aims at protecting minorities, one could pose the question of the over-protection of minorities and therefore the under-respecting of the majority within the federal demos.
Solution
Establishing federalism aims to protect minorities. However, one might ask whether, within a federal demos, minorities are overprotected and therefore the majority not well enough respected.
Upcoming Twig Meetings
Wednesday, April 14 – Kathleen Byrne, an editor of the Hansard debates at the Ontario Legislature, will talk to us about her job and the environment in which she does it.
Wednesday, May 12 – The next instalment of “Authors Talk Editing” – Member Carolyn Heald and her sister, Brenda Gayle, will talk about their author-editor relationship. Brenda has published three books in a romantic suspense series and has just released the fifth novel in her Charley Hall mystery series, set in Kingston in the late 1940s. You’ll find more info at https://brendagayle.com/.
Editors Canada Annual Conference
June 12 and 13 (weekend) – The theme of this year’s virtual event is “Editors Transform | Les réviseurs transforment”. Find all the details at https://pheedloop.com/editors21/site/home/.
Webinars
A schedule of spring webinars is available at https://training.editors.ca/.